MIDLIFE CRISIS (yes this is a song)

Lately I have been feeling very blah. I am not sure what is going on with me. Things I used to care about, I don't anymore. People I used to care about, don't seem worth my time. I am annoyed by things. I just turned 44 and I am not sure about where I am in life and if this is how things are supposed to be. Generally I am a pretty happy person. Lately, I am just not happy. I am reviewing my life, the people in it, my job, and all the things in between to see if or what I can change and make my self happy. I have many good friends who I love. So far I am healthy this year. The warm weather is coming soon, and I can spend my days and evenings in my pool with my kids. (my most favorite place to be next to the beach) Is this my midlife crisis? Faith no more says...... Sense of security Like pockets jingling Midlife crisis Suck ingenuity Down through the family tree Anyone else trying to figure out if this is as happy as life gets until you die? Boy that sounds silly when you read it all typed out. I am trying to figure out if this is as good as it gets. Right now I am not sure. I think it could be better. What to change in order to make that happen, I am not sure. Accept the things you cannot change, change the things I can have the courage to know the difference. Where should I start? That's a really big question. Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's. You earned a day off! Celebrate.

Christmas Card 2011

Snowflakes Ribbon Christmas Card

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Broken Heart

Today I have a broken heart. My daughter was yelling about having her hair brushed. (only a daily thing around here) She stomped off, told me to leave her alone and then ask that I not go to cheerleading pictures with her. My heart is broken. I am the one she always wants with her. I am her safety blanket. I guess not anymore. Jack was upset when I told him I wasn't going to his game. I can't risk her yelling at me in public. This is her new thing. Yelling at her parents. How embarrassing. She is going to talk to someone and find out why she is feeling so much frustration lately. Can't come soon enough for me. I have been the softball coach, the cheerleading coach, the brownie leader etc. I have volunteered for everything she has wanted to do. I cannot believe that this is the same girl who used to appreciate me. I will never get up at 0500 on my day off and wait in line for hours so that she can meet someone from the Disney Channel. Those days are officially done. I will no longer take her to a concert, or spend hours custom making a t-shirt for her to wear to said concert. Maybe if she doesn't get everything she wants and more, she will appreciate her mother. As mad as I used to get at my mother, I NEVER treated her so poorly. Never.

Christmas Card 2010

Oh What Fun Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Dad! I miss you more every day that goes by.

You would be proud of my kids. They are so great. Jack is so much like you it pulls at my heartstrings. The boy has your sense of humor. :)

Happy Father's Day Mr. O. You are missed and loved and thought of often. Losing you was like losing my Dad for a second time. We love you.

Happy Father's Day Tim! You couldn't be a better Dad. Our Dad's would be so proud of you. Jack and McKenna love you so much and love how much time we spend together!

Happy Father's Day to all my friends! I have a great group of friends that are such good fathers.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Tim and both of our fathers. So a day of mixed emotions for all of us.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is the day Good NEWS!

Today is the day that I get the results from my blood test.

Today is the day I find out if the cancer has stayed away for another year.

Today is the day that I find out if I get to make it 6 years cancer free!!!

Wish me luck. It's hard to put a whole year on one day. That's too much pressure for the day to handle. LOL

I will update later. If it's not good news, I will update tomorrow. I will need the one day pity party I have allowed myself. :)

I am a bad daughter. I didn't update TWO days ago. The test results were good. Hello SIX YEARS!!!!!

Having a neck ultrasound just to see what it looks like after 2 surgeries.

GO ME!!!!!

Sorry I didn't update immediately. Or call. Love you Mom. Sorry you worried. :(

Bullet

The photos in the last post were in reverse order. He is not shrinking unlike what the photos make it seem.

Here are the most recent photos taken the other day.

Garbage Can Puppy

Garbage Can Puppy came home about 5 weeks ago now. The next post will be the post current photos.

Cliff notes version. Some asshole pulled up to a gas station and threw a bag with 6 German Shephard puppies in it away. A retired PO saw the bag moving and brought the puppies into the 002nd District. My husband works upstairs and came down, picked a puppy and brought him home.

His name is Bullet. The kids love him. He is almost house trained. He has added to the chaos which is my life but in a good way. Sinatra even loves him. (when he is not trying to jump on his back) Life is good.

Basketball and Hockey are done. So that leaves us with Irish Dance, CCD and Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. I am happy that our activities have slowed down. It was crazy since August. I am tired.

Will update more when I am not on the way out the door to work.

Quick next post with recent photos of puppy.

He was 4 weeks and only 4 lbs when he came home. He is now 20 pounds and 9 weeks?

Happy Thanksgiving

Jack is the pickiest person I know. He is even worse than I was when I was his age.
We have done everything in our power to expand his menu. We have new foods friday where he has to eat something he doesn't like or try at least a little bit of something new. I only do this once a week as I don't want him to starve. I have and use the book Deceptively Delicious and it works wonders. He eats many things that he doesn't know about. LOL

So I told him a few days ago that today was Thanksgiving. I told him that meant that he was going to try some Turkey and Sweet Potatoes. I myself never tried Sweet Potatoes until a few years ago. They always looked gross to me. Now I love them. Jack wasn't too happy with the news that it was going to be New Food Thursday AND he was going to have to try it in front of a bunch of people. He HATES when people watch him try new foods. I think he is nervous that he will throw up or something. LOL

So this morning my smart, funny and wonderful son gave me a card that he made me for Thanksgiving.....I couldn't help but laugh out loud.....and share it with you. (if anyone is even reading because according to by blog, no one follows me) No one listening doesn't stop me from talking in real life, it's not going to stop me here. :)

Funny Conversation

So we have a weekly ritual. Irish Dance on Monday. McDonalds on the way home. We have done this every week for over a year now with the exception of summer. (no dance) So we see the same girl at the pay window every week. I should know her name but I don't. Since the toys have been Madagascar 2 for a few weeks now, we are trying not to get the same toys in our Mighty Kids Meals. We nicely ask, what are our toy choices, and she digs around and tells us. Last week she went out of her way to look for Gloria and she gave us a few extra toys, only charging us for one extra. (Honestly I didn't know she was charging us at all. I normally don't buy extra toys no matter how cute they are.) So for an extra $1.10 we got 5 toys. The guy giving us our food forgot that she was giving our toys to us already so he didn't take the toys out of the boxes. We were already blocks away when we realized which is why I didn't go back and return them. So here is where the conversation got funny. My kids have talked to me about sex before. Remember they are 5 and 7. The only reason it came up before was because they heard me on the phone trying to co-ordinate with my girlfriends about going to the movie Sex and the City. At the end of that conversation they thought that kissing was sex.

So Monday's converstation went like this.
Jack - So we got 5 toys. How would you say that in Tuplets?
Me - What do you mean Tuplets?
Jack - well two are twins, three are triplets, what is it when you have 5.
Me - I think it's quintuplets.
Jack - wow that's cool
Me - mumble mumble from the same egg
Jack - what? more than one baby come from the same egg?
Me- yes, sometimes a fertilized egg splits and you have twins.
Jack - you mean an egg with a big old yolk?
Me - Sort of. :snicker:
Jack- so how does the egg get fertilized?
Me - thinking OH NO I AM NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION - when a man and a woman love each other, they do something that I am not discussing at this time and the egg gets fertilized.
Jack - so you mean the egg gets fertilized and then stays in your belly until you get married and then the baby starts to grow.
Me - LOL
Jack - I mean you can't have a baby until you are married?
Me - well not everyone does it in that order.
McKenna - I know what sex is. It's kissing.
Both kids - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Me - if everyone got pregnant from kissing the streets would be filled with babies. right?
McKenna - Oh yeah. You're right.
Jack - you fertilize the egg with food right? Like chicken nuggets?
Me - that discussion is for when you are older.
Jack - cool we got quintuplet toys Mom.
Me - (thinking thank God this conversation ended)

Ok so now that I typed it out, it doesn't LOOK funny. But I promise you I was snickering all the way home. I love when stuff comes up and I don't expect it. I can't have my pre-planned answer ready. I just have to improvise. It's funny and interesting. I love the way my kids are always thinking about things, and asking questions. They really are smart. Although I can imagine that schoolyard conversation where my son insists that you make a baby by sticking nuggets in the egg. LOL. Imagine that picture. Hope he doesn't get beat up.

Yeah...well

Sinatra is home with me. Still laying around hardly up and moving at all. Not eating day #3. Not even his favorite pizza! LOL

I still think it's time. Perhaps the vet did not agree with me. I still know in my heart that I am right. I will take another week or two. :)

4 months? Holy shit!

I am sorry that I have been a bad blogger. I have been so busy I have not had any time to do anything. I am on vacation starting the 20th. I promise to play catch up.

OOPS Happy Birthday Jack!

Sometimes the kids read and I forgot to post Jack's Birthday. He turned 7 on July
3rd!

Sorry Dude!

Death

This has been on my mind for the last week. Bob was my friend. He was a friend I hadn't seen in a while but he was still my friend.

I worked with him when I first came on the job. That district, the 010th District, back then we were all family. I can't say it's the same way now because I have not worked there in 9 years.
Those people.
The people I worked with. They were my family then and will always be family to me.
Even now.
It was a craaaaaaaaaazy district back then. (I am sure it is now) You had to depend on each other to stay safe. If you called for help, everyone came. If you heard someone call for help, you always went.
No excuses.
Bob was always a person I was happy to see coming, he didn't mess around. LOL. If I was fighting with someone, he pulled me off of them when he got there and got the situation under control with ease.
He had the best sense of humor and a really unique laugh. Tim called me when he heard the news and asked for help putting the name with the face. ( there are over 10,000 Police Officers in Chicago) I told him Bob was at our wedding and he caught the garter. He remembered immediately because it was funny. Bob was so gung ho about catching it that he gave it his all. He jumped, and dove, and was successful in catching it. He stood up and swung it around his head like he was a stripper. What he didn't realize was when he jumped and dove, he dropped his checkbook on the floor. While he was swinging the garter around, my hubby started swinging his checkbook around his head. Was classic Bob and funny as hell. I will never forget all the times he saved my ass. I will never forget all the times he went out dancing with all the girls. He loved to dance and in my wedding video all you see is him out there for every single song dancing his ass off.


Goodbye my friend. You will be missed.

Missouri

Michigan Part 2

Michigan

I have no words......only tears

This is MY District. This was OUR brother.

Please pray for his family.

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Five. Years. Cancer. Free!

Yep, I did it! I can't believe it! What a milestone!!!!!

Yea me!!!!