Funny Conversation

So we have a weekly ritual. Irish Dance on Monday. McDonalds on the way home. We have done this every week for over a year now with the exception of summer. (no dance) So we see the same girl at the pay window every week. I should know her name but I don't. Since the toys have been Madagascar 2 for a few weeks now, we are trying not to get the same toys in our Mighty Kids Meals. We nicely ask, what are our toy choices, and she digs around and tells us. Last week she went out of her way to look for Gloria and she gave us a few extra toys, only charging us for one extra. (Honestly I didn't know she was charging us at all. I normally don't buy extra toys no matter how cute they are.) So for an extra $1.10 we got 5 toys. The guy giving us our food forgot that she was giving our toys to us already so he didn't take the toys out of the boxes. We were already blocks away when we realized which is why I didn't go back and return them. So here is where the conversation got funny. My kids have talked to me about sex before. Remember they are 5 and 7. The only reason it came up before was because they heard me on the phone trying to co-ordinate with my girlfriends about going to the movie Sex and the City. At the end of that conversation they thought that kissing was sex.

So Monday's converstation went like this.
Jack - So we got 5 toys. How would you say that in Tuplets?
Me - What do you mean Tuplets?
Jack - well two are twins, three are triplets, what is it when you have 5.
Me - I think it's quintuplets.
Jack - wow that's cool
Me - mumble mumble from the same egg
Jack - what? more than one baby come from the same egg?
Me- yes, sometimes a fertilized egg splits and you have twins.
Jack - you mean an egg with a big old yolk?
Me - Sort of. :snicker:
Jack- so how does the egg get fertilized?
Me - thinking OH NO I AM NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION - when a man and a woman love each other, they do something that I am not discussing at this time and the egg gets fertilized.
Jack - so you mean the egg gets fertilized and then stays in your belly until you get married and then the baby starts to grow.
Me - LOL
Jack - I mean you can't have a baby until you are married?
Me - well not everyone does it in that order.
McKenna - I know what sex is. It's kissing.
Both kids - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Me - if everyone got pregnant from kissing the streets would be filled with babies. right?
McKenna - Oh yeah. You're right.
Jack - you fertilize the egg with food right? Like chicken nuggets?
Me - that discussion is for when you are older.
Jack - cool we got quintuplet toys Mom.
Me - (thinking thank God this conversation ended)

Ok so now that I typed it out, it doesn't LOOK funny. But I promise you I was snickering all the way home. I love when stuff comes up and I don't expect it. I can't have my pre-planned answer ready. I just have to improvise. It's funny and interesting. I love the way my kids are always thinking about things, and asking questions. They really are smart. Although I can imagine that schoolyard conversation where my son insists that you make a baby by sticking nuggets in the egg. LOL. Imagine that picture. Hope he doesn't get beat up.

Up Early, Can't sleep

The kids went to my mom's yesterday on an overnight. She hasn't seen them in quite some time so I ran them out for an overnight with her. They love going to Grandma's house. For some reason yesterday they kept asking, " Can we go to your mom's house today?" LOL

Jack overheard us talking about the cancer and doesn't quite get it yet. He said, " I don't want Mom to go into the hospital" and " I don't want Mom to be sick" and this breaks my heart. I don't think he quite understands that Mommy would never to be sick, nor would she choose to be away from him and his sister besides the occasional night out and my once a year trip to DC for Police Week. I don't like to be away from them. I talk about needing time for myself and then when I am not with them, I miss them too much to enjoy myself.

I took a 3 hour nap on the couch yesterday which I don't recommend. LOL. My neck hurts, my back hurts, and my sleep schedule is officially screwed up. Working midnights and sleeping during the day is fine. But when you try to be like a normal person on your days off and sleep at night it's when you get all screwed up. :) I am not yet adjusted to the new schedule. But I guess that doesn't matter since I am looking at a few months off on the medical. It will give me a chance to hang out ALOT with the kids before I actually have to have surgery and/or treatment. I am just really sad thinking about all of it.

McKenna was 9 months old the last time I went in for treatment. She will be FOUR in May. That's CRAZY. She will miss me this time. I will miss her like crazy. Jack is another story. My heart will break for Jack. He's old enough to start to understand what is going on if we take the time to tell him everything. I am not sure that I want to do that to him. He is so innocent. Almost 6 and I would like to let him think both of his parents will live forever. Just like I thought until I was 30. :) I have told Jack every day since the day after he was born that " I missed you while you slept" it's hard doing it now knowing that I will miss a few weeks of saying that in person.

I am still a crying, blubbering fool. Now I am really angry about this. This isn't me. I am usually sad for a day and then I get up the next and deal with whatever life throws at me. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it this time. I NEVER thought I would be here again. Needing people isn't something that I DO. Letting people help me is so strange. I know that I need to do both of these things but I am really struggling here.

I just almost paid off all the bills from my last treatment, LOL, now I am going to dig another hole. I can't believe how expensive being sick is. Thank God I have insurance. I can't imagine how people with out it or with poor insurance do it. I am only responsible for 10% and it's hard for me to pay it all. What would life be without money problems? I accept the fact that I will never know. My plan is to use my medical time to sell everything in this house that we don't use. Perhaps I can make enough money to pay off all the medical bills as quickly as possible. The way I look at it if it wasn't this......it would be something else.

I keep telling myself, it could be worse. I know that it could.

I am going to hang out for the rest of the day. I think Tim is going to run to my moms and pick up the kids. I might just go out for a drive, but there was a little snow and it's so flipping cold outside I just don't know if I want to go out at all. I also need to figure out how to sleep because I am working tonight. Thank God for my partner Sandy, she certainly makes working midnights fun. We laugh most of the night and time seems to fly by except that last hour.

Thats it for today. Hope everyone has a great day. Lord knows I am trying!!!!!

Mar