The findings need to be confirmed with the WBS(whole body scan) I am scheduled the second week of Feb. What a long wait. I get a shot of Thyrogen on the 5th and the 6th. A small dose of RAI (radioactive iodine) on the 7th and then the scan is the 9th. I won't have the results until the following Monday and then the gameplan will be discussed.
Looks to me like I have another growth on my parathyroid. I knew I was feeling crappy in June but my tests came back ok. Now my Calcium is high and my PTH(parathyroid hormone) is almost double what it should be. If you look at Parathyroid.com and Thyca.org you can look up more about each disease. I am so lucky I fall into the 4% categories. LOL. I can't win the lottery but I can fall into the small percentage of people who have bad results. Go figure.
I am feeling a little better today. Guess the few beers I had last night as well as the dancing helped me forget about things for a few hours. This morning. Back to reality.
I am hoping that this relapse will not make me a nasty person. I am really struggling with how unfair it is. Knowing I am still blessed to have a cancer that has a 95% cure rate. I am still mad. I am mad that I have to be away from my children. That they won't understand I am not choosing this. That I will miss them. That I can't kiss them goodnight for a few weeks. That I can't hug them for a long time. That is truly the most painful part. I mean pure physical pain. My heart aches now just thinking about the weeks to come.
Glad that my friends are rallying around me. I don't want to be a burden to any of them. Tired of sucking the life out of them. Tired of being "debby downer" all the time.
Me and God. We are having issues. I am not exactly speaking to him right now. We have fought before many times, and have always worked it out. This time, I am not sure how long it will take. I am really MAD at him. More on that later.....
Keep praying people. I know it works.
Mar
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